GatorBytes' Original
 Sunshine State Scoreboard

Saturday, January 05, 2002 7:07 PM

Dear Dr. B:

I'm clinically depressed--can you do a Professional Certificate on me STAT--it wasn't just the wining--it was the joie de vivre, the élan, the jaunty good feelings that Spurrier's mystique engendered---G'ville became "the lost horizon" of football with his presence--and whomever they bring in--Stoops, Shanahan, Ray Graves--will NEVER create that sublime atmosphere of insouciance & enfant terrible as mad scientist that Spurrier brought off...

Louie

Dear Louie:

Hold on, man, get a grip... This is what happens when you have a program that revolves around a personality. Gator football became a personality cult. In Cuba they call that Fidelismo. Here, it's called Superiorismo.  Forget the Baker Act commitment. I am all out of certificates, and am Rxing reality therapy CNN 24 hrs qd. For those who can't handle the truth, I recommend watching "Lord of the Rings" every 4-6 hrs until symptoms subside.

Dr. B.

Have a question for Dr. B? You can write to him at g...@webenet.com

--------------------------------

Gator AD Jeremy Foley has always said he keeps a short list of possible candidates for situations like this, but he had no inkling this was going to happen and like many, including GatorBytes, believed Spurrier would finish his coaching career at UF. Who can possibly take Spurrier's place? An experienced, successful coach is not enough. It will have to be a PERSONALITY. GatorBytes has a list too, which he has asked me to post on the hotline, knowing that this is where many readers will be coming in the days ahead...

In alphabetical order:

1.  Terry Bowden (Can you think of a better way to beat Big Daddy Bowden than with one of his own sons?)

2.  Larry Coker (Did I say the Gators need another personality? Maybe they don't, but please don't bring back Galen Hall.)

3.  Rick Flair (If all that's needed is personality to take Spurrier's place, the Nature Boy is hard to beat. Owoooo!)

4.  Jimmy Johnson (The former UM coach, the second to win a national championship, is a long shot who may be reluctant to move to North Florida. Crescent Beach isn't exactly Key Largo.)

5.  John Lombardi (A favorite of fans and alumni for his outspoken leadership of UF, the former head Gator would be a natural to be the next head ball coach, but some question his choice of defensive coordinator who is rumored to be Steve Uhlfelder.)

6.  Bill Parcells (another long shot who has all of Spurrier's best-known traits, but none of his best.)

7.  Janet Reno ( a native Floridian from Miami, like Spurrier, Reno is the best known name in South Florida after Castro, but some would question her football acumen. However, as Clinton's Justice Department head, she showed that you don't need any special acumen to get things done.)

8.  Howard Schnellenberger (UM's first coach to win a national championship is another long shot who may not be the best fit for jaded Gator fans accustomed to high scoring games, whose idea of running up the score is kicking an extra field goal in the waning seconds of a game.)

9.  Bobby Stoops/Mike Shanahan ( obvious choices, but maybe too obvious.)

10. Jesse Ventura (personality, showmanship, braggadocio, Jesse "the Body/Mind" Ventura has all of Spurrier's best-known traits plus his best ones and just enough political savvy to stay one step ahead of his mouth.)