GatorBytes' Original
 Sunshine State Scoreboard

Dave Hart on Class and Respect

Sunday, December 02, 2001 5:25 PM

Ne'er-do-wells?

Wednesday, November 14, 2001 12:52 AM

Dear GatorBytes:

        My favorite team is the Florida Gators! And my least favorite team is the Florida State Criminoles! If you have [expletive deleted], [expletive deleted], [expletive deleted] or general ne'er-do-wells, just send them to Bobby Bowden and he'll make football heroes out of them. There is no pretense about Bobby -- he wants to win and he does not care how or with whom. Winning is his only standard. I, like my brother, want any Bowden, anywhere, that has anything to do with football to lose. His team seems to be disconnecting this season and I hope it gets worse!!!

        Linda

        Ok, Linda, I get the picture, but I think your assessment might be a little harsh. Bobby may not exactly be Billy Graham or Pope John Paul, but I believe he's a pretty decent person. That's just my opinion. I could be wrong. I wouldn't go so far as to say that Bobby would take in just any ne'er do-well. I mean, they've got to be able to run and catch. He didn't take in Randy Moss (or did he?), and look at how he handled that problem with Dillard's a couple years ago. He could have looked the other way, but no, he got right on the phone and called President D'Alemberte, who was out of town, and said, "Sandy, you just leave this little ol' thing up to me. I know those boys' mommas. What's that one boy's name? His momma makes the best cornbread and chicken, Ooouie, boy can she cook!" or something like that, perhaps not quite as cogent, but just as sincere, and started reading the Bible and lo! he came upon the story of Solomon and knew immediately what to do. Since there were two reprobates, whom he both loved like his own children, he didn't have to cut one in half, like Solomon, so he kicked one off the team and kept the other. Mosaic law and justice had been served. Righteousness and forgiveness had both been administered and all was well until New Orleans when he was faced with his next test and had to resort to International law.

Mitotic Canes?

Sunday, October 21, 2001 6:04 PM

Hi GatorBytes,

        Enjoyed the latest Sunshine State Scoreboard even though the gnarly Noles' awesome streak was snapped by none other than the mitotic, metastasizing, coked up canes (only made worse by traveling to Tally in the same car with Eyecane, though thankfully not on the way back). The Noles are obviously in a rebuilding (shudder, shudder) year and if they can take out Maryland next week, we may still be playing on New Year's Day. The Noles' second half against the Cavaliers was quite impressive and hopefully represents a harbinger for the rest of the season. As for the Gators, ......???????, reminds me of the old days before Spurrier. By the way, that superior, grandiose SEC dribble is really getting old!

        NoleByrd

        Dribble, huh!? I believe the word you meant to use is "drivel." That's the difference between a University of Florida education and an FSU education! Speaking of words, here are some to take with you as the season progresses (or regresses, as the case may be): Dominus vobiscum et cum spiritu tuo. That's Latin, by the way, the language of scholarship. I don't suppose it's in the curriculum at FSU, is it?

Chicken salad & celestial signs?

Thursday, May 17, 2001 1:14 AM

In response to GatorBytes' following comments...

        "Bear Bryant once said you need chicken to make chicken salad. The same can be said for the cook. Miami's got the chicken, but does it have the cook? If ever a program has been able to continue to thrive despite a change of coaches, it's Miami, but I hate to burst your bubble, Eyecane. All the celestial signs say this will be the Year of the Gator."